If you’d rather go to sleep than have sex with your bed partner, chances are you are not getting enough sleep. So, let’s talk about how sleep and sex are connected. So, the first thing is to understand that we are having a massive epidemic of low testosterone, and I believe it’s absolutely linked to the lack of quality sleep that most people are getting these days. So, let’s kind of break this down and explain why this is happening. Well, REM, R-E-M, or the dream state of deep sleep is when testosterone and estrogen is replenished and released. REM happens about after 90 minutes of being asleep. So, we go through different sleep cycles. About every 90 to 110 minutes. In REM, it’s one of the cycles that we go through, but it’s one of the last cycles. In REM, sleep happens in the fourth quarter of the night.
So, if you think of your night in four quarters, the fourth quarter is when most of the REM sleep happens. Most of us are not getting enough sleep, so we’re interrupting this REM period, which is throwing off the testosterone and the estrogen, which is driving down the sexual drive and performance. There’s actually a study done with over 4,000 adults, both men and women, in their mid-60s, and it found that erectile dysfunction was linked to not getting enough quality of sleep.
So again, REM happens in the fourth quarter of the night. So, we want to make sure that you’re giving yourself at least a eight-hour window or sleep opportunity to get into deeper levels of REM sleep so you can drive that testosterone, keep that testosterone high, so you can perform in bed.
So, three things here. So, obviously, better sleep equals better hormone production. And when we’re talking about sex, we got to talk about hormones, right? Testosterone, estrogen, all of these hormones happen, are replenished, released during the night. So, if you’re waking up frequently throughout the night, your body isn’t getting into deep sleep, delta sleep, or REM sleep, which is where the hormones are released, and your body is actually healing. So, you might be sleeping, but you’re not getting the quality of sleep, which is going to drive down that hormone production.
When you get amazing sleep, you have more energy and you need energy to have sex. So, if you’re too tired to have sex at night, that’s because you’re probably not getting enough high quality sleep, and that energy production goes down. I mean, nobody really feels like getting into the mood when you’re in a low energetic state. You need to keep that energy high so you can perform and be present with your partner.
The third thing is when you are getting quality sleep, when you’re getting enough sleep, it’s actually going to reduce the amount of stress. You’re going to be better able to handle stress, which is then going to allow you to get better sleep, which is then again, linking back to the hormone production, is going to allow you produce the optimal amount of testosterone and estrogen to keep you vital, to keep you fertile, and to keep you performing in bed.